It's the small things....

So many times I live in the past and future. I stress about the past and worry about the future.  This is no way to live.  I have missed so many things that happen in the moment.  I am trying not to do that; making a conscious decision to be in the moment of this life.

  The boys and I are finally getting into a routine.  I have been trying to do it all, but it's not possible.  Everything will get done when it needs to be done.  I started to reflect on the small things that actually mean a lot to me:

* Dave being able to come home for lunch: For the past 3 years I barely saw him because of his b-billet.  Now, I get to sleep with him most nights.  He is home almost every weekend.  He literally comes home for breakfast & lunch!

* D telling me he loves me. Today, I took the boys to park because D asked earlier in the day. I was tired of feeling stuck, but now that Dave has his Jeep, we're free!  I know that the boys are feeling the stress of the change, so I wanted them to have fun.  To pick something and have it come to fruition.  I noticed today, more throughly, that he is so amazing.  He is such a happy kid.  He yearns for love and friendship (as do all kids).  This makes my heart so happy, but also sad at the same time.  Let me expand.  He yearns for friends, which he has, but I WANT HIM TO HAVE IT OFTEN!  I want D to be able to go to preschool (half day) 3-5 days a week.  It is something that he would love. I know God will make a way, but that is why I push my Advocare so hard.  That is why I am always looking to help.  I know that I am NOT the only one that wants to feel amazing, but has BIG dreams for their family.  It will happen.  I want him to have it all, but I know that he will always appreciate it.

** Side note: this kid makes me feel like the best person in the world.  I don't think he could say "I love you" any more genuine. **

* I get to be at home with my kids:  Not everyone wants this, but a lot of people do.  I am so blessed to have a job that allows this.  I will get to explore things with my kids. I will teach them.  I will not miss out on things.  I want this for others who want it.  I will continue to push for those people, because I know how amazing it is.
* Baby breath: As stated before Benji is in this fake cry mode.  It drives me nuts, but the moment I fake cry with him he smiles.  I love that I can rock him to sleep at night.  I love that he loves this family so much.  I love that Benji and D are best friends.  I love Benji's baby breath and I never want it to go away.

* I still talk to my best friend: I might not be able to run across the street and bust in.  She might not be able to hide in the back of my seat for 15 minutes to try to scare me, but we talk.  Whether it's text, phone, or Facebook...we talk.  I know that distance is not even a thing.  I am thankful for her and her faith.

* My family is coming:  A bunch of them, coming out soon and staying for a bit.  Something about having family in the house is comforting to me.  Maybe it's because I grew up 1 of 7 kids.  I just miss them.  

* I can walk to the beach:  I don't do it, but I know that I can. Sometimes after a good run we'll stop off and splash.  This is not just a beach, it's a Hawaiian beach!

Remember (as will I), God created this life for us.  Do not live in the past, don't stress about the future....live in the here & now!